Of course I have to try to post a photo as well. So let’s see how that works, shall we?  Ok, I just realized that the photo will only post at the end of the blog entry.  This sucks a bit but I can deal with it.

So to catch anyone up on things, here’s a little rundown.

1. I’m still in school and I’m kicking ass
2. Men still confuse the hell out of me.
3. I thought the new guy totally dumped me but apparently not. He is still in the picture but he just has a much smaller role than he did before. Whatever.  He says he cares for me.  I’ve heard that line before. Many times over.
4. I’m already getting tired of typing this blog entry on my iPhone.
5. 48 more college credits and I will be able to substitute teach in Orlando schools. Its a start towards my ultimate career goal of teaching English Literature.
6. I turn 40 next Sunday. Shit. Damn. Hell. That is all!

Alright friends.  That’s all I’ve got for now. I even wrote all of this without being fueled up on coffee. Oh, by the way, if the picture posts correctly, it’s my nephews. They’re growing up. It’s scary. And they look like their father. Even scarier!!

There’s a lot going on in my life and yet there’s nothing going on in my life.  Does that even make sense?  It does to me.  I guess more of what’s going on with me are inner struggles and battles within myself.  I have feelings that I don’t want to have.  I HATE having feelings that I don’t want to have.  However, no matter how much I try to repress the feelings and shove them back into the recesses of my heart and mind, they’re still there.  Biting and pinching and letting me know that “Hey, bitch…whether you want us or not, we’re here!  Deal with us!”  Pfftt, whatever.

The great guy I was dating?  Yeah, he took a powder and ditched me…of course he sent me the obligatory email citing…”It’s NOT you at all…it’s totally me”.  And naturally, my feelings for him were going way beyond the feelings he was having for me.  Thank GOD I had the presence of mind to keep my feelings on the down low though.  I have learned that lesson the hard way.  Always wait for the guy to put the feelings out there and then reciprocate if you will.  It’s easier.  Trust me.  You see, this is what happens to women like me.  I’m honest.  I don’t cheat on men.  I don’t lie to them.  I don’t stalk them or make them feel stifled.  I don’t put my needs before their needs.  I listen when they need someone.  I offer up help wherever help is needed in their life.  And then… they dump me.  ALWAYS.  Not just a few times.  ALWAYS.  Pfftt, whatever.

I’m a month shy of turning 40 years old.  FORTY freaking years old.  I’m not ready for this.  I’m not ready for this stage of my life.  I had so much more that I wanted to have already accomplished by now.  I wanted to be a wife and a mother.  Well, I got divorced.  Scratch the wife thing off the list.  I can’t have babies.  Scratch that off of the list.  I wanted my dream career of being an English teacher.  I’m six college credits into making that happen.  I’ll be 44 before I’m in a classroom behind the big, awesome teacher’s desk.    I wanted to at least have a nice birthday celebration with the groovy man that was in my life.  Well, as we’ve already determined, that won’t be happening.  I don’t even have enough friends to get together to have a cool dinner party at some amazing restaurant.  Pfftt, whatever.

This is what happens when I sit down to blog.  Not much positivity flowing and a whole lot of negativity spewing forth.

Then again, maybe that’s a good thing.  Maybe vomiting all kinds of negative is good once in a while. Plus, this is my journal.  I’m entitled to spew negativity every now and then, right?P

Criminy, I need a therapist!  Or sex.  Probably both!

• The kids have been out of school since June 9th.  It’s not been a month yet.  I might be ready for them to go back to school.
• It’s been hot as all fuck here in Florida and I’m over it.  Bring on the fall temps (and here in Florida, that means low 80s!)
• I’ve been up to my ass in school stuff.  Trying to get back in the swing of this and trying to maintain some sort of dignity and not fail miserably at it.
• I’ve got a week before my final exams in my two current classes.
• So far, I’ve got an A in both classes…BEFORE the final exams.  Who the hell knows what I’ll end up with after those two tests.  I’ll be happy if my final grades are high B’s or low A’s.
• My next class is Communications (read Grammar)
• This makes me a happy bitch.  While you probably can’t tell from my blog because I tend to be quite lazy, I’m a grammar whore.  I believe in punctuation, proper verb tense and not ending a sentence with a preposition.
• My other class is a Math class.
• I’m screwed
• I’m dating someone.
• He’s older than me, THANK GOD as I will never, ever, ever in this lifetime or the next, date a man who is younger than me again!  (just a personal rule for me…doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for other people)
• It’s been a month and we’ve not driven each absurdly insane
• This is a good thing
• I’d like to keep this one.  He’s normal and good looking and smart and he works a full time job and he actually pays on the date and looks at me stupidly when I pull out my wallet.  He also opens car doors and walks on the sidewalk closest to the street.  He’s got the gentleman thing down pat.
• I so deserve this kind of man in my life.
• I’ve had enough losers to last me three lifetimes…maybe four.
• My bestest friend in the world (and I say world because she’s in a different part of the world than I am) is coming to spend an entire week with me in October!  “Excited” would be such an understatement.
• There will be a get-together on the afternoon of October 17, 2010.  I don’t have all of the specifics worked out yet but details will all be forthcoming because I know you all want to get in a little Dutch Bitch time.
• Everyone who’s in Central Florida or surrounding parts and wants to come is invited.
• Just be aware that this will be family friendly as The Kid will be with Dutchie.  So if you have kids, please, by all means, bring them.
• I’m still working on a venue so if you have any suggestions and you want to give me your four cents worth (inflation yanno) then please email me.  Or Facebook Message me.  Or Twitter me (except I haven’t been logging on to Twitter lately so email or Facebook work best.

I guess that’s it. That’s a helluva lot of bullets.  Nothing like getting 30 blogs post wrapped up into one.   And on that note, I’m off to make coffee and figure out the least amount of clothing I can wear today without being obscene yet without having a heat stroke.  Tot ziens!

This year has been a semi-crazy year for me so far.  I began the year by getting rid of a douchebagcockstaindumbasstwatwaffle of a “boyfriend”.  My parents moved back from Pennsylvania and we’ve been trying to help get them settled back here in Florida.  The kids have had projects out the fucking ass at school (and not just little shit either…BIG ass projects).  And, because I’m just not busy enough, I went and enrolled in school full-time.  I’m now on the official path towards a Master’s Degree.  I’ll be older than Methuselah when I get said degree but that’s alright.  I’ll be a seriously old woman with a few degrees in my hip pocket!

I’d tried to talk myself out of school for so long and I always seem to be able to justify not going back.  But one day I got an IM from a close friend and he was so excited to tell me that he was going back to school.  He was going to follow a dream and make it happen.  I was so proud of him but I was a little jealous at the same time.  It was then that I realized that I was the only thing preventing me from seeking out my dream.  I was too lazy to seek out grant or financial aid options because I just assumed that sort of thing didn’t apply to me.  Umm, hello idiot, your village is calling!!  Yeah, I got full grants and full financial aid.  I’m a happy bitch!  So, if all goes as planned and I keep my nose to the grindstone, I’ll see a lifetime goal come to fruition and you’re truly will end up being one helluva English Literature teacher!   Yay me!  So yeah, long story not so much shorter, my friend was a complete inspiration to me and now I’ll be forced to sing “Wind Beneath My Wings” each time we talk.  He’ll LOVE that!  No, actually, he wouldn’t and he’d probably say “Umm, whore…shut the hell up!!!”, but I digress (and way too much!!)

In other news, there really isn’t other news.   It’s been hot as fuck here in Florida and this makes me bitchy(er).  I’ve even taken to wearing dresses now.  Anyone who seriously knows me knows that I don’t wear dresses.  I just think I look very “moose like” in them.  Umm, 95 degree temps in May…yeah, screw that notion.  Mooses be damned, I’m now wearing dresses.  And yanno what?  I kinda like them.  My boobs look great in them and ya get a nice breeze all the way up to Vajayjay Town.

So that’s that.  It’s now like 6:41 a.m. and I’ve got to get my Auntly duties going on up in here.  Lunches to be made, breakfast to be fixed and morning tempers to be soothed.  I might even be nice and make my sister some coffee.  Maybe.  I don’t want to be TOO productive today and have anyone getting used to it, know what I mean, Jellybean??

So in an order to get this blog kind of up and running again, I’m going to take a cue from this cheeky bitch here and kind of reintroduce myself to you and give you a few facts that you may or may not know about me.  And yanno, if you’re reading and you have a question or want to know something about me and what makes me the person I am, then go ahead and ask.  I’ll probably answer.  Maybe.    Moving on…

Things you may or may not know about me:

• I used to be a kick-ass fast pitch softball player and played for several years.  I started in outfield then moved to 3rd base and ended up as Catcher.  Kinda frightening having a ball coming in at your face at around 80-90 mph
• As a rule, I don’t like left-over food.  I’ll save it, because it seems like the frugal thing to do and you know, people are starving in Africa and everything but unless someone else eats it, I’ll probably end up tossing it out days later.  Except for chili and my mom’s homemade noodle soup…those things I’ll eat leftover with no complaints!
• I’ve never in my life had a relationship or dated anyone within my own race.  Every boyfriend I’ve ever had has been African American, except for the one Puerto Rican but I discount him because he totally paddled the douche canoe with some of his actions.  But that’s a post for later.
• I can’t have kids and this really pisses me off because I would be an AWESOME mom.  It took me a long time to come to terms with it and be able to say that I’m okay with this.  But now, fuck that.  I am NOT OKAY with it.  It still pisses me off and I find myself being resentful and jealous of those that can just pop out a kid whenever they want.  This doesn’t mean that I am not ecstatic and thrilled for friends when they end up pregnant or tell me stories about their kids… I am.  I just get that little stabbing pain of “but why can’t it be me?” and then I usually throw it to the back of my mind and commence with life.   But yeah, I’ve now come to terms with the fact that I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with it and be accepting of my situation.  And that’s okay, because it just makes me more determined to figure out a way to afford adoption.. and I will.
• I was the editor of my high school newspaper and although you can’t tell it from anything you’ve ever read here, I used to have a real flair for writing.  It was always my dream to write travel books and actually have them published and well, as you can see, that dream didn’t quite pan out, but whatever.  I still dream about it every now and then.  I also wanted to be a caterer and cook for weddings and lavish parties.  That didn’t work out either…but at least I’m an awesome cook and can throw down in the kitchen with the best of them.
• I have this thing about doing things the same exact way every single time I’m in the shower.  There is a precise order that has to be followed.  I have to wash my hair first.  Twice.  Lather, Rinse, Repeat.  I do this first because what good is it to wash your body and then wash your hair and have the soap from dirty (not that it’s really dirty, but still) hair run down your clean body.  So yeah, hair first, then conditioner goes on and stays on until 1) body is washed 2) legs are shaved and 3) shampoo, conditioner and soap bottles have all been rinsed.  After that’s all done, then I can rinse the conditioner outta my hair and commence with the drying of everything.
• I love to sing.  I rarely let anyone hear me sing but I’m actually not half bad.  The only person that I really sing loudly with is my niece.  When she and I are alone in the car, we throw caution to the wind and sing like we’re Divas.

That’s it.  That’s all I’ve got right now.  Maybe one day I’ll do that whole 100 things about me and create a page for it here on the blog.  Maybe not.  Right now I have a three year old hollering for me to come wipe her butt after she’s proudly done her business.  Remember that part I said about being happy with my life?  Yeah, I might need to rethink that! *sigh*

Happy Birthday DB!  You are truly one of the  best friends I’ve ever had.  You’ve always been there for me, no matter what the situation.  When I hurt, you hurt right along with me.  When I’m happy, you’re there smiling with me.  When someone does me wrong, you’re ready to kick ass and shove a thigh-high red stiletto boot down someone’s throat.  When everything in my world seems like it’s upside down and inside out, I know that you’re always there with an ear for me to bitch to.  When a douchebag man breaks my heart, you’re always there to remind me that they’re assholes and not worthy of my time and energy.  Let’s also not forget that you keep me supplied with the nectar of the gods known as Dutch Coffee.   You’re an amazing daughter, sister, mother and you’re by far the most amazing friend I’ve ever had.  For that, I truly to love you bunches and bunches.   Happy Birthday my beautiful friend.  You’re one in a million

Make sure you go and leave her lots of good birthday wishes!!

So there’s not much to update here really.  I mean, anyone that cares with keeping up with me has done so on Twitter or via FB updates.  But I will say that it’s nice to be able to come back here and know that I have my little zone where I can rant on for more than 140 characters at a time.

The Rookie boyfriend is no longer.  We had a rather unpleasant parting of the ways and I have to say, my life is MUCH better since this happened.  He turned out to be a selfish jerk of an asshole who thought of no one but himself.  And let’s just say that at very important things in a relationship…..HE FAILED and sucked beyond measure.  I’ll leave it at that.  Oh and he hogged the bed and messed up the blankets something fierce.  That always pissed me off!  Good riddance to that aspect of my life.  So I’m back on the single path again and yanno….it is what it is.  I’m neither bothered by this nor concerned with it.  If a man comes along, great.  If not, whatever.

So there’s a brief update after a not so brief hiatus.  I’m going to try to revive this little spot here because I like it.  So hang around, visit, comment, whatever it is that you do.  I’ll be back.

• Week before last, found out that our landlord hasn’t paid his mortgage the entire time we’ve been living in this house (since March 2009)
• The landlord also hasn’t paid his 2009 property taxes and is also behind in his HOA dues.
• All of these things are making foreclosure on this home imminent.
• We decided to move
• We also decided that we would not be paying November’s rent as eviction due to foreclosure would be happening at any time and we needed to be prepared with a new roof over our head.
• We got a three day notice on our door on Tuesday of this week. (Landlord is a fucking douchebag but the 3 day notice was expected)
• On Wednesday we looked at a beautiful town-home just 3 minutes up the road.  Both Joy and I fell in love with it!
• On Friday, we secured said town-home and we can start moving in as early as Monday evening!

It’s so crazy how everything happened so quickly yet all came together so smoothly and seamlessly at the end.  Now I just have to get my ass in gear and start packing things up.  I hate that part.  It makes me really cranky!  The Rookie keeps trying to give me packing tips and advice on moving.  He really doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.  I have moved so many times in my life that I could pack and unpack a UHaul in my sleep and never miss a step!    He also put a piece of bacon in my deep fryer last night.  Umm, my deep fryer is filled with Vegetable Oil.  I don’t eat pork.  I told him he was on for replacing the oil in the deep fryer today.

Last night was really fun.  Joy and I got invited to a Nintendo Wii Fit Plus Launch Party by a super cool blogger.   It was in a downtown studio (Orlando) and we did yoga and some other Wii Fit Plus games as well as had some great veggie snacks to eat and I had a glass of wine and a strawberry at the end of the evening.  Yum.    The best part was when we got to have our “Oprah” moment!  Nintendo gave each one of us a Nintendo Wii Fit Plus (balance board and game) and a super nice Wii Fit Plus jacket just like the trainers were wearing.  I guess I now have no excuse for not doing Yoga every day and getting my culo gorda in gear!

On that note, I’m off to go clean out my closet and finally get rid of those “fat clothes” once and for all!

I NEED this!  Not just WANT, but NEED!

Okay?  I’ve been good decent this year.  I haven’t committed any crimes and I haven’t done anything immoral.  I haven’t committed any crimes.  I try to keep the bad words to a minimum and I’ve had no episodes of public drunkenness.  I save that fun for my friends because that’s just the kind of good friend that I am.  So please Santa?  Can I get on the “good girl list” just this once and then I’ll never bother you again.  Well, I won’t bother you for another 12 months.  Fair enough?

Love

ME!

We had knocked on approximately 3 doors when the three year old loudly announced “I want to go home NOWWWWWWWW!”  I assured her that she was having fun and that I didn’t have she didn’t have enough candy yet so we needed to give it just a little while longer before we through in the sweaty towel.  She wasn’t amused.  Her bitchiness was in full-swing.  I have NO idea where she gets that from!

We ended up roaming our sub-division for about 40 minutes or so before the mosquitoes and the heat got the best of us.  My sister and I scoped out the bags and determined that there were enough Milky Ways and Reeses to satisfy us the kids and we headed back to the homestead.  The three year old was stripped down to her Dora panties in record time and promptly got in a better mood.  UNTIL…she saw an adult rifle through her candy bag.   “YOU NOT EAT MY CANDY!!”  Apparently she never got the memo that adults that have to endure trick-or-treating and the prep of said activity have candy stealing rights.   We assured her that this was protocol and that she’d likely have to endure it until she was probably 11 or 12.  She wasn’t amused.  I soothed her inner savage beast with “Pink Milk” (Nestles Strawberry).  I’ll need to get her better educated and informed on Trick-or-Treating rules before next year!

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